Sidelined
I have never been good at team sports. When I was in school I was always the last or next to last person picked for a team. You know, the ones in gym class.
Do they still do that? Anyway, I remember a time in gym class when we were on our basketball track and my good friend was picked by our teacher as a team captain. I was so excited. I knew I would get picked this time. Yay finally!
My friend called girl after girl until there were two of us left. She never picked me. I—-was—-crushed! Winning meant more to her than our friendship. All the times I helped her in English, History, and Art class, etc. didn’t matter. Only winning mattered.
After gym class was over some of my classmates teased me and said, ‘I thought she was your friend. Why didn’t she pick you?’ I didn’t answer. They knew why; they just wanted to rub it in. I don’t remember what my response was to my friend regarding that day in gym, but the incident made me feel as if I didn’t matter. My feelings didn’t matter. My thoughts didn’t matter and our friendship didn’t matter. All that mattered was winning a stupid game of hoops in gym class.
Sidelined. . .that’s how I felt. Have you ever felt that way, as if nothing you have to say, nothing you do matters?
I have actually sidelined myself at times. I have told myself no one cares about your opinion. No one cares about what you think. That way of thinking caused me to pause for years about writing a blog, about putting my thoughts and opinions out there to the world. Oh yes, I give my opinion to friends, family, and those in my church, people I know. But this putting it in writing for people I don’t know to judge, react, pick apart or even like is scary.
The book of Judges chapter six speaks of a man who sidelined himself. Gideon. He told the Lord his clan was the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh and that he was the least in his entire family. Wow! Self-esteem issues much? He asked The Lord to give him a sign that he could do what he was asking of him. God did. He asked for another sign just to make sure. God gave him another sign.
I love how God understands there are times we may need extra encouragement when we’ve been beaten down.
On another occasion in scripture, the prophet Samuel was sent to appoint a king for Israel. God had chosen Saul a young man the scriptures say stood head and shoulders above the rest. When it was time for him to be presented to the nation, he was hiding. He had sidelined himself because he didn’t see what the prophet and God saw in him. I can imagine becoming the first king of a nation was pretty scary. I wonder what he was saying about himself when he was hiding under baggage. Are you speaking demeaning words about yourself? Are you not seeing the value God sees in you?
What baggage are you hiding under? I get it because I have felt that way too.
I no longer want to sideline myself. I hope you won’t either. Are you ready to get in the game? Are you ready to tackle whatever is holding you back? What gift are you hiding from the world? What talent, what wisdom, what skill? What voices are you listening to that say, “you can’t?” Here’s what I decided. If I help encourage or entertain someone with my words, even one person, that’s great. If I can help someone feel like they are a valuable part of the team of life then I’m happy about that. God led Gideon and Saul into major victories. If we trust him, he’ll lead you and me into victories as well.
Remember my ‘friend’ who didn’t pick me for the b-ball game? Well, she continued to not pick me. But somewhere along the way that semester I improved in basketball. I guess she didn’t notice because the next time we played my newfound re-bound skills left her with her jaw on the floor. I became an aggressive player who was no longer shamed in the game. Let’s allow God to work in our lives to such a degree that our enemy will be left with his jaw on the floor! To God be the glory!
Scripture References: Judges 6; 1 Samuel 10